For my third and final show this week, I thought I'd go big! When I heard that Testament were coming back to New York and bringing along a couple ragamuffin bands with them, I figured... okay, why not? So I went to Hammerstein Ballroom for the first time and got to see a pretty damn good show, not as messy and dirty as last night's funfest with GWAR and company (see next blog). The line, not surprising, was quite long and it looked like I'd get a pretty shitty view of the stage. Not so, in fact, as I've learned two things about my fellow metalheads: A) They're a bunch a pussies and prefer to be in seats rather than standing; and B) They really like moshing and crowd-surfing, which is good for me because that leaves the front row, my favorite spot, open for me to see the bands I paid good money for. By the way, Hammerstein is a beautiful venue! So sad that in the next few hours, it will be completely trashed.
BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME - I'm not a big fan of this band or their style of music. Nothing really to report here other than many people liked them, despite being the first ones up. It seems to me that New York metalheads are very adverse to showing any sort of emotion or appeal to any band that comes out first. Somehow the dudes of BTBAM manage to make it work, and though I'm not completely won over by them, they made the most out of being the "appetizers" of the evening. Set Grade: B-
BLACK DAHLIA MURDER - Oh, shit! These guys again. Yes, this marks the third time I've had to witness the painful sight of frontman Trevor Strnad shirtness, gut hanging over his pants and that ridiculous "Heartburn" tattoo plastered on his hanging belly. As with the first band, not much to report here other than the band got a new ape costume (which looked pretty fucking scary and cooler than the last ape costume) for the "Statutory Ape" song, which the crowd went - excuse the pun - apeshit over. The band were able to move the crowd and get them pumped for what laid ahead for us, and despite a relatively short set, BDM played well. But they were about to be disposed.... Grade Set: B-
TESTAMENT - By a much more talented and seasoned group of musicians. Legendary thrash titans from the Bay Areas, and totally miscast among this lineup of bands, stormed their way into Hammerstein and graced us with yet another stunning performance equal to, if not surpassed, by their previous show at BB King. It's always great to see old-timers playing their old and new shit and showing these young fuckers how it's done. Blasting away with "Over the Wall," "Into the Pit," "More Than Meets the Eye," "Henchmen Ride," and show-closer "The Formation of Damnation," it became apparent that Testament, in my opinion, owned the night and Children of Bodom had their work cut out for them. Judging from the pushing and shoving reminiscent of last night's show at the Fillmore, the crowd wanted to get as much of Testament as humanly possible. I did, however, find it sad to see Chuck Billy using the mic as an air-guitar pretending like a geek to be playing a guitar. Hey Chuck, if you want to play the guitar so bad, do what James Hetfield and Dave Mustaine do, strap on a guitar and sing at the same time. Perhaps he's not as coordinated as they are. Still, a fine show nonetheless. Set Grade: A-
CHILDREN OF BODOM - Even though Testament owned the show, it became clear that the kiddies were here for Finnish metal band Children of Bodom. From the chants of "Bodom" to screams of delight upon their arrival onstage, they were really here for these Euro-trash foreigners. This is my first show with them and was actually quite amused and entertained by them, they even held up well for the hour-and-a-half given to them since they were, technically, the headline act. (I know... Bodom? Headlining over Testament? That's fuckin' bullshit!) They did mix some thrash with melodic death and keyboards, a pet peeve of mine, to a good combination that was all brutal but fun. At times, several kids in the crowd were jumping up and down, singing along while a few adults were no doubt slamming in the pit and crowd-surfing. I managed to wiggle my way to the front row of the barricade, even though I was right behind one person in front of it throughout the night, and started getting into Bodom. They played "Blooddrunk" and "Children of Decadence" and a few unfamiliar tunes that pleased many and left me pretty stunned by the response from the crowd and this band's popularity. Not a bad first time with these guys, and may actually consider seeing them again when they return in April. Set Grade: B
AFTER THE SHOW - First, let me say that this is the last time I stay until 5am to meet any band EVER! I am the most dedicated metal fan alive, and I will fight anyone for that title! That said, myself and a group of equally strong-willed individuals waited (in the back of the venue on 35th St.) outside as members of Testament and Bodom entered and exited their buses parked quietly in the dark. Some were drunk and escorting both beautiful and ugly groupies, while others went with friends or alone to do some more drinking. I always thought that the bands went together as opposed to going separately. When you realize that these guys are on the road everyday with each other, you understand that a little time apart may be good for them.
I SPY
- Alex Skolnick had a smoking-hot, though a bit stuckup, Asian chick that he was chatting with on the bus.
- Louie Clemente, former Testament drummer and now their roadie/drum tech (I think), following after Eric Peterson and some old woman to a bar. Louie wanted to kill me after I cracked on him following Testament around, to which he replied very irritated: "These guys are like my brothers! And we stick by each other." He said it as though I didn't know the meaning of friendship. I did ask him several times if he wishes he was playing drums again instead of Bostaph, but he denied it vehemently. I think a part of him does....
- Greg Christian, drunk but polite to me, with three ugly groupies.
- Chuck Billy going to a blues club.
- Paul Bostaph without his nagging wife.
- Alexi Laiho drunk (what a shocker!) with three not-really attractive groupies going to.... you guessed it.... A BAR!
- A drunk Roope Latvala telling us why he hates Swedish band Opeth. A mixture of broken English and alcohol DO NOT mix!
- Hot, piece-of-ass groupie Ashley with Testament, who gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek, but didn't remember my name. THE BITCH!
I really wanted to yell at Black Dahlia Murder for sucking and also to the four other member, besides Shannon Lucas, for not adding me as a friend on MySpace. They didn't even have the balls to tell me. FUCK YOU BLACK DAHLIA MURDER! You guys are gay and your music is crap. I don't know why I stayed out so late, and I don't think it was worth it, but at least I heard some funny shit from a few members of Bodom, including my grilling of Alexi upon his return to the bus. I threw everything at him: "Why don't you write a good album?" "Why do you wear makeup and eyeliner like a woman?" "Why don't you add me on MySpace?" But the little Finnish retard just smiled and shook his head. Europeans have a way better sense of humor than Americans do, like that jackass faggot Ralph Santolla, who couldn't take a fucking joke. These foreigners continually show us Yanks when we're so behind in the times and why we as a society are crumbling. So sad!
SHIT LIST (Where Douchebags Play!)
Black Dahlia Murder
Show Grade: B+
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