Thursday, May 21, 2009

My meeting with Gene Hoglan, Brendon Small, and Rob Dukes gone awry!

[Note: This is not a review of a concert. In fact, the following takes place after the Dethklok show at Nokia on June 25, 2008. Unfortunately, the show was sold out, I had to work and then go to my play rehearsal.]

So this past Wednesday I got out of my rehearsal for my play "Happy Hour" and ran into a couple metal buddies who had just gotten out of the Dethklok/Chimaira/Soilent Green show. Feeling high on cloud nine after getting news from my director that I may in fact audition for a Sam Shepard play, I decided to try my luck and add to my euphoric feeling. So I high-tailed it to Nokia and waited for a couple hours to meet the bands. The main man I wanted to meet was Gene Hoglan, a famous drummer of various important metal bands including Death, Testament, Dark Angel and shittier bands like Unearth, Strapping Young Lad, and Zimmers Hole.

Between listening to my buddies' annoying banter of upcoming metal shows and what shows they are going to and watching the tired surly faces of the road crew, it became a pretty long night of meeting with lots of metal celebs who turned out to be douchebags. First, there was Rob Dukes of Exodus, who I previously chimed as being a great, affable man who just happens to look like a serial killer. Maybe he was tired from the show and just wanted to get home, but Mr. Dukes gave me the blatant cold shoulder when I was trying to sort-of make amends for creating my "Rob Dukes Hates Me" blog where he unceremoniously dropped me. Rather than look me in the eye like a man, he instead chose to take a picture with the Metalocalypse tour bus. In any case, he was gracious enough to take a pic with me before walking towards Times Square with his wife.

My next encounter with a metal celeb came in the form of Metal Blade chairman and CEO Brian Slagel, the man who was there at the beginning of the thrahs metal moveent. So important is this man's role in metal that he signed Slayer to their first label, before Rick Rubin scooped them up for Def Jam and later Def American, and creating the Metal Massacre compilation which gave birth to many bands including my guys in Metallica. So it was a thrill meeting the man who did all this and find out that he is a great guy in people. When you meet Slagel, you don't meet a obtuse businessman or some obnoxious bigwig in a suit, but a longtime metal fan, bald, bearded and bespectacled, dressed in a band shirt and shorts. You meet a guy willing to answer your questions, talk endlessly (or at least 10 minutes) about himself and the new Metallica album, though everything he said I could find on Wikipedia myself, and just a sincere guy who gives me his card freely as though he wants to do business with yours truly. Brian Slagel is an Ace in my book, and any band under the Metal Blade banner is fortunate to have this cat in their corner.

Then the boys of Chimaira came out at random. First, there was Matt DeVries, who seemed friendly and was good enough to take a pic with me. Then, there were Mark Hunter, Rob Arnold and Jim LaMarca who also happened to be by their tour bus and were also kind enough to pose for pics with me. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to meet their drummer Andols Herrick and Chris Spicuzza, but perhaps the next time to a show that doesn't sellout so quickly or has a somewhat better billing. My buddies from Soilent Green - Ben, Scott, and Tommy - were still cool enough to remember me from the show at BB King and chat a bit as they were getting their gear out. These guys deserve a hell of a lot more respect than what they're getting.

Then, I had the.... unique.... pleasure of meeting Brendon Small, creator of Adult Swim's "Metalocalypse" cartoon. At first, it was fine. He came outside, tired but willing to take pics for me and sign people's shit. Now, I'm someone who tells it like it is, and for some reason I saying lots of shit that didn't sit well with Mr. Small. I can't remember what I said, except that I jokingly asked to be a guest voice on his stupid show. Fast forward to a half-hour later, and this guy is at a bar with friends and I go over to say my goodbyes, since Brian is there as well, and much like Rob, I got the cold shoulder. Then, after standing there like a dope for a couple minutes, he turns to me and rather coldly asks me what I want, like I'm some stalker fan who won't go away, and not to ask him about any voiceover jobs. They pissed me off. And as Small (fitting name to describe his intelligence, importance, and worth as a human being) put a hand on my shoulder, I shifted my body away and I left the bar. Fuck you, Brendon Small. You're a douchebag and one hit wonder who will be nothing once this cartoon ends. Count on it!

And finally, I meet drum legend Gene Hoglan, who is much bigger in person. A quiet fellow who, at least to me, seemed rather ornery and withdrawn. According to Hoglan himself, he received some bad news before meeting me, which attributed to his being so distant. In any case, I felt very disappointed by this, hoping he would be more gracious and verbose to his fans, and to me especially, and was completely turned off by him. And a shame, too, since he is - or was - one of my drum heroes. It just sucks.....

So, an evening that should [Note: This is not a review of a concert. In fact, the following takes place after the Dethklok show at Nokia on June 25, 2008. Unfortunately, the show was sold out, I had to work and then go to my play rehearsal.]

So this past Wednesday I got out of my rehearsal for my play "Happy Hour" and ran into a couple metal buddies who had just gotten out of the Dethklok/Chimaira/Soilent Green show. Feeling high on cloud nine after getting news from my director that I may in fact audition for a Sam Shepard play, I decided to try my luck and add to my euphoric feeling. So I high-tailed it to Nokia and waited for a couple hours to meet the bands. The main man I wanted to meet was Gene Hoglan, a famous drummer of various important metal bands including Death, Testament, Dark Angel and shittier bands like Unearth, Strapping Young Lad, and Zimmers Hole.

Between listening to my buddies' annoying banter of upcoming metal shows and what shows they are going to and watching the tired surly faces of the road crew, it became a pretty long night of meeting with lots of metal celebs who turned out to be douchebags. First, there was Rob Dukes of Exodus, who I previously chimed as being a great, affable man who just happens to look like a serial killer. Maybe he was tired from the show and just wanted to get home, but Mr. Dukes gave me the blatant cold shoulder when I was trying to sort-of make amends for creating my "Rob Dukes Hates Me" blog where he unceremoniously dropped me. Rather than look me in the eye like a man, he instead chose to take a picture with the Metalocalypse tour bus. In any case, he was gracious enough to take a pic with me before walking towards Times Square with his wife.

My next encounter with a metal celeb came in the form of Metal Blade chairman and CEO Brian Slagel, the man who was there at the beginning of the thrahs metal moveent. So important is this man's role in metal that he signed Slayer to their first label, before Rick Rubin scooped them up for Def Jam and later Def American, and creating the Metal Massacre compilation which gave birth to many bands including my guys in Metallica. So it was a thrill meeting the man who did all this and find out that he is a great guy in people. When you meet Slagel, you don't meet a obtuse businessman or some obnoxious bigwig in a suit, but a longtime metal fan, bald, bearded and bespectacled, dressed in a band shirt and shorts. You meet a guy willing to answer your questions, talk endlessly (or at least 10 minutes) about himself and the new Metallica album, though everything he said I could find on Wikipedia myself, and just a sincere guy who gives me his card freely as though he wants to do business with yours truly. Brian Slagel is an Ace in my book, and any band under the Metal Blade banner is fortunate to have this cat in their corner.

Then the boys of Chimaira came out at random. First, there was Matt DeVries, who seemed friendly and was good enough to take a pic with me. Then, there were Mark Hunter, Rob Arnold and Jim LaMarca who also happened to be by their tour bus and were also kind enough to pose for pics with me. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to meet their drummer Andols Herrick and Chris Spicuzza, but perhaps the next time to a show that doesn't sellout so quickly or has a somewhat better billing. My buddies from Soilent Green - Ben, Scott, and Tommy - were still cool enough to remember me from the show at BB King and chat a bit as they were getting their gear out. These guys deserve a hell of a lot more respect than what they're getting.

Then, I had the.... unique.... pleasure of meeting Brendon Small, creator of Adult Swim's "Metalocalypse" cartoon. At first, it was fine. He came outside, tired but willing to take pics for me and sign people's shit. Now, I'm someone who tells it like it is, and for some reason I saying lots of shit that didn't sit well with Mr. Small. I can't remember what I said, except that I jokingly asked to be a guest voice on his stupid show. Fast forward to a half-hour later, and this guy is at a bar with friends and I go over to say my goodbyes, since Brian is there as well, and much like Rob, I got the cold shoulder. Then, after standing there like a dope for a couple minutes, he turns to me and rather coldly asks me what I want, like I'm some stalker fan who won't go away, and not to ask him about any voiceover jobs. They pissed me off. And as Small (fitting name to describe his intelligence, importance, and worth as a human being) put a hand on my shoulder, I shifted my body away and I left the bar. Fuck you, Brendon Small. You're a douchebag and one hit wonder who will be nothing once this cartoon ends. Count on it!

And finally, I meet drum legend Gene Hoglan, who is much bigger in person. A quiet fellow who, at least to me, seemed rather ornery and withdrawn. According to Hoglan himself, he received some bad news before meeting me, which attributed to his being so distant. In any case, I felt very disappointed by this, hoping he would be more gracious and verbose to his fans, and to me especially, and was completely turned off by him. And a shame, too, since he is - or was - one of my drum heroes. It just sucks.....

So, an evening that should have been great but due to personal problems, possible ego and attitude, and fatigue, three out four metal celebs turned out to be douchebags. I might even say four, but who the fuck is Mike Keneally anyway?

have been great but due to personal problems, possible ego and attitude, and fatigue, three out four metal celebs turned out to be douchebags. I might even say four, but who the fuck is Mike Keneally anyway?

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