I was not prepared for what was in store for tonight. For those of you familiar with GWAR are probably chuckling right now, as you know exactly what happens at a GWAR show. Fortunately, I came prepared clothes-wise, wearing the usual black shirt and jeans, but that really didn't help much. By the end of the show, I was covered from head to toe in green goo - space jizz, if you will - but managed to have a great time in spite of the mess. Yes, it was one of those nights where I truly felt I was going to die! I'm not kidding when I say that nearly 300-500 (maybe more) pumped-up people were literally pushing forward and came close to breaking the barricades that keep the hungry horde of losers, minus myself, back from attacking the bands. Being splattered by GWAR's slaves didn't help either. At one point, I was afraid that the barricades would bust open and my face was going to collide with the security guard's head, thereby face-tattooing his chrome-dome. Fortunately, it didn't get that far, but it was scary and exciting and I can't wait for another GWAR show to return.
TOXIC HOLOCAUST - The first band up were these retro-thrash dudes from Seattle who I had seen before at BB King some months ago. The band consisted of the same bleach-blonde dude, with the stupid C.C. Deville-poser hairdo that calls himself Joel Grind, with two new cats taking up the bass and drums. Not much has changed, musically or stylistically. Grind still grunts and groans like a Seattle cave-turd on typical thrash subject matter while the new hires ably follow him. There is 30 minutes of hell and 666 and shit like that, which doesn't make for a whole lot, but the crowd still to follow along and shout out some song titles, which is a good indication that somebody out there in the crowd in listening to their records and actually likes this shit. For me? .......Meh! Set Grade: C
KINGDOM OF SORROW - For little Jasta, it's been quite a year. He's been appearing in guest vocal spots for many bands, doing side-projects such as KOS and fronting his own band Hatebreed, endorsing products, kissing major label ass, and from what I've been told by the KOS crew, even handles the merchandise. WHEW! Talk about being industrious and enterprising! The kid, actually he's in his mid-30s, keeps himself well occupied. And that's good, because it shows in his performances and his love for all things metal and hardcore is quite visible for all to witness, and as a bonus he has no problem telling youhow much he loves metal and hardcore. The rest of the band, which includes an ecclectic group of dudes, including Matthew Brunson, Kenny Hickey of Type O Negative, Steve Gibb of Crowbar, and some kid named Nick Bellmore (subbing for Unearth's Derek Kerswill), actually perform rather well. Nobody outshines the other, or so it seems, and they work cohesively well to give us a strong dose of supergroup metal. Many band can't say the same. Sadly, though, Kirk Windstein of Crowbar and Down fame, was not present due to his touring with the latter band and was replaced by Hickey. Despite my disappointment of not seeing Windstein, Kingdom of Sorrow did an admirable job even without its key member. Set Grade: B
NOTE: In between these sets, there were condom balloon being tossed around the crowd. It is unconfirmed whether these balloons were, in fact, used or not. Some things are better left unknown!
GWAR - And now, the main event! Even before GWAR came out the crowd began pushing its way forward and crushing all, including myself, against the barricades. So much so that the barricades actually shifted! It took a multitude of about 15 security guards to keep the "dam" from bursting. This went on throughout GWAR's set. Despite the annoyance and pain being inflicted upon me, I still had a great time! The band poked fun at Steve Wilkos, Marilyn Manson, Oprah (I think), John McCain, Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton by squaring them off against GWAR's intergalactic champion and systematically beheading, dismembering, and pulling apart several appendages and private areas of the "celebrity guests" and spooing the crowd with ample spurts of space goo. LOTS OF SPACE GOO! From what I could see (when I could get the shit off my face) and hear, the theatrics were quite entertaining and the music, a form of thrash metal, was actually pretty rockin'. If GWAR lost the "space act" they'd probably still be a great thrash band. Despite the fake blood, sweat and tears, this was by the far the most dangerous and fun show I've been to. And I can't believe it came from a GWAR show! Set Grade: A-
AFTER THE SHOW - I refused to look at anyone in the eye, part of it out of shame for being doused in space goo, and the other because.... well, metalheads are an ugly group of people. So I made my way to the bathroom and quietly wrung out my Damageplan T-shirt in the toilet and covered the entire bowl with green liquid. I pity the poor sucker who has to clean that shit up. My face, hands, fingernails...everything.... was GREEN! I quickly put out my Marvel Zombies hoodie and tried to escape the venue incognito. Almost immediately, everyone piled out and rejoiced in their mess. I, for one, was cold and wet. But I was determined to meet the bands and thank them for another festive evening. I got to meet Kenny Hickey, who seemed to be friendly at first but when I mentioned Type O Negative and a new album, he became evasive and cold. Kenny Hickey bought himself a place on my shit list. FUCK YOU, KENNY HICKEY! But the other dudes in KOS were friendlier, such as Steve Gibb, who told me that Crowbar will be getting together for a new album soon, and that all is well back home in Louisiana, at least for him anyway. And Matthew Brunson, a very creepy dude with a creepier-looking carnival showman's-curled up mustache, was good enough to take pic, even though I didn't know who the fuck he was. (Gibb handled it much better.)
SHITTIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENING - The little homo drummer Nick Bellmore sees me outside while he's stuffing his dumbass face with food and, like a little bitch diva, shuts the curtain in the front of the bus. FUCK YOU, NICK BELLMORE! You little pussy!
I didn't care to meet Joel Grind or his hired guns in Toxic Holocaust and GWAR out-of-costume is just not interesting enough for a pic. So all that was left was Little Man Jasta. I waited, along with a few people, but he didn't come out. I was almost prepared to diss him but he emailed me here saying that someone ripped off the merch table and wanted to found the person responsible. So, for now, I won't say anything against him until our next meeting, whether it is with Hatebreed or Kingdom of Sorrow.
NO TRINKETS
SHIT LIST (Where Douchebags Play!)
Kenny Hickey (No longer on the shit list as of 10/15/08)
Nick Bellmore (No longer on the shit list as of 10/15/08)
Show Grade: B+
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