Imagine, if you will, a little girl, about 7-years-old, having a tea party for her little dollies and stuffed teddy bears and acting like a gracious hostess. Her attention is always focused on making sure that her guests are happy and have equal amounts of tea and conversation. Her spirit is infectious and you have no choice but to smile because you've never met someone like this before and they, in fact, are a dying breed of people who care about others and put them above themselves. That is Rita Haney-Abbott in a nutshell, a Southern-style Janis Joplin-esque chick with the fun spirit and foul mouth of a man.
Call her what you will, Lady Dime or "Dimebag's Hag," as she herself put it which Darrell named her, but the lady is quite the entertaining hostess. Standing slightly taller than myself and with a chest that is practically bursting at the seams, Rita Haney is someone who is a true metal chick, despite having no real affiliation or connection with music save for her relationship with the late axman. Brimming with stories that are sweet and endearing and with others quite shocking and appalling, she is never boring - very talkative, maybe, but never boring - and everything seems to remind her of the "good times" that she shared with Darrell, or on the road with many bands, that you can't help but just listen to her.
Over a few Blacktooth Grins, Rita will warm up to you even if she's never met you before. She'll get you to laugh even if some of her anecdotes aren't that funny. She feels like someone who is familiar, like family, and if you're feeling left out she will grab you by the shirt collar and pull you in. This, from what I was told by Rita herself, is what Dimebag Darrell did to anyone within arm's reach. Dime, who truly loved people and his music, was not going to let anyone leave a venue or a bar unhappy. And that same spirit is evident with Miss Rita, who proudly embodies all things Dime in the hopes that all of us can be a little bit happier knowing that we were touched by something positive, which makes the loss of Dime so much harder to understand and bear for some people.
And though Rita was somewhat tardy, as the grill had been fired up for an hour or two prior to her arrival, that didn't dampen the mood in the least as many, including myself, clamored to catch what Lady Dime had on her mind, what Dime-related project she had cooking up for fans, and just what was happening in her personal life (the latter being my main objective). I got more than I bargained for! Even though I promised her I wouldn't say a word to anyone about what she said, and I will maintain that vow, I will say that I was very troubled by some of the things mentioned.... some things better suited for a memoir or a movie on the Lifetime channel. If what she told me is to be believed, Dime was a much stronger character than anyone could ever imagine, facing things no one should face from people who are supposed to love him, as he loved them.
But the night was an entertaining one still. Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson sex tape was playing on one TV set while True Lies, starring Arnold Schwartzenegger, was playing on the other. Fire-spitting bartenders spewing "venom" to the awestruck crowd while the electric riffs of Pantera burned in the background. At one point, I asked Rita to dance with me on "Walk," which she deemed as too typical a song to be played. Rita even played the barmaid role well, making Blacktooths for us and downing them like it was water. What a woman! And as much as I tried to get away to go home, since I had to work, she kept on prodding me to try more - which I did, of course. And she isn't afraid to show her appreciation, perhaps even affection, by planting a kiss on the lips!
FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE EVENING - In the spirit of Dime, she even drew on a dude's face who had passed out by the bar. (Word to the wise, don't EVER be the first to pass out or fall asleep when you're at a bar!)
As I finally left the bar by 4:30am, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing a good time back at Duff's. Rita's spirit made me want to STAY! I never had that feeling before of staying and continue to drink. Whether you want to believe that she's cashing in on Darrell's death or is sincerely trying to keep his memory alive, one thing is painfully clear - she has more balls than most men do!
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