Possessed/Mortician show @ Europa - 6/22/08

Last night was probably the most physically intense and painful show I've been to so far - no doubt there are plenty more to come. Talk about a feisty crowd, and there weren't any hardcore bands on the roster! The NYDM came out in full force to see their West Coast "brother" Jeff Becerra tear it up as the only member of Possessed and L.A. black metallers Sadistic Intent. But it wasn't the NYDM that did any damage to me and the other dudes in the front row. More like three escaped spics from Guatemala, bumping and grabbing, sweating and yelling all over me and the people that surrounded me. At several times, my buddy Dan the Retard, myself and some guys from the NYDM were going to turn around and stomp their asses. From fellow spics Sadistic Intent's set and straight into Mortician and At War's sets, these three fuckers would keep screaming in their stupid indecipherable language right in my ear. Thankfully, the consequence of booze seemed to keep them still during Possessed's set.

The show was pretty much like all the shows at Europa that I've seen. The first few bands, in this case six, playing pretty much the same regurgitated pussy death metal and everyone in the crowd is pretty much hanging outside the club smoking their cigarettes and chatting it up with fellow metalheads, oblivious to the fact that they paid $30 to do what they can do for free on MySpace. The bands, who come out in quick succession, fail to bring along their banners and no one knows who the fuck they are! This is why these assholes never get signed or why nobody buys their shitty albums.

Here's a tip to those douchebag bands: "BRING A FUCKIN' BANNER AND TELL US YOUR GODDAMN NAMES!"

Needless to say, and you'll thank me for it, I will not go into deep discussion about any of the following bands - though here they get a free plug on me: Midnight, Malkuth, Black Anvil, Sacrificial Blood, Rumpelstiltskin Grinder, and Bloodfeast (Noxzema Girl-looking frontman is back!) need to get themselves a banner and promote themselves better. Oh, yeah, and write better songs!

Now, let's skip to band 7 - Sadistic Intent - who I last saw playing with Jeff Becerra at BB King and had to pay $36 to see that show. Pretty much the dudes of SI played their brand of black metal with typical unintelligible, I-think-Spanish, lyrics that had the three Spics from Guatemala dancing - and at the same time pissing me off - with glee. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH with more BLAH on top of it. But at least their drummer, Emilio Marquez, gave me the thickest Vic Firth drumstick I have ever seen, almost dildo-sized. But for the most part, there were lacking in the excitement department. You'd think that doing this for 20 years they wouldn't perform like amateurs, but they did!

Mortician came up next, and this time Will Mortician hired a bass player to fill in while his hand is still recovering but doing well (he had less bandages this time). Much like the last show I saw with them, Will pretty much stayed in one place onstage but this time showed more love to myself and the others by bumping fists and handshakes while doing his best Cookie Monster. Will was also kind of enough to take a pic with me (check it out in my Metal Bros Gallery) right before going onstage. At one point, Jeff Becerra wheeled himself to see his NYDM "brother" within the crowd, which was somewhat sweet and touching in a way. I'm not too familiar with Mortician's music, but it came and went, just like everyone else.

At War, which brags three men in their 50s playing combat thrash but should be in retirement homes, came up and drew a much more favorable response. I'm not familiar with them or their music, but the old guys seemed to have a good time.

Finally, Jeff and Sadistic Intent took their places, and much like at BB King, they stole the show. Playing faves like "Holy Hell," "Death Metal," "The Exorcist," and "Tribulation" (twice, for some unknown reason) we the crowd ate it up and spit it back out. He even played a so-called "new Possessed song" which required him to play bass himself. (Obviously it was an instrumental, and not a very good one.) Funny moments abounded, however, like when Jeff handed me his beer and I drank it all. He looks at me and asks where his beer went and I shrugged an "I don't know" to him. Let's face it, though, the dude would have fuckin' wasted it. He actually dumped his first beer on himself! So why waste it? I mean, I figured he enjoyed seeing my energy and rewarded me with a beer. (Trust me, he had people buying him at least five Pap's Blue Ribbon, one lost beer was not going to kill him). Another funny moment, he licks his thumb and rubs an inverted cross on my forehead - which I swear started to burn! - and gave me a devilish grin. At one point, to make up for consuming his beer, I acted as a roadie for him and kept handing him his Pap's beer and the mic, whenever he dropped it to read his lyrics - oh, yeah, Jeff can't seem to remember the lyrics when he's drunk or possibly even sober for that matter... go figure!

But what comes next is most shocking. After the show is ended, a light seemed to go off in Jeff and he suddenly turned into Axl Rose. Refusing to say a word or takes pictures, and at one point refusing ME! I did manage to coax him into taking a pic with me, but upon viewing his expression, I said fuck it and erased it. It sucks because we, he and I at least, seemed to connect when he was onstage but then when it was all over he seemed to go blank. Although, I will say that I wasn't the only one he snubbed, as I viewed him wheeling past many people who wanted to congratulate him on a successful set. Maybe he's shy, or maybe he's a dick, but it was a disappointment that he didn't carry that same grateful energy that he displayed onstage.

Oh, and there was a surprise guest in the audience! Nobody important or really that good, but Makoto, the touring bassist of Hate Eternal and second-class substitute for Alex Webster, showed up at the bar. I was told this by my buddy Daniel the Retard and figured that since Makoto took off without my getting a pic with him, now would be a good chance to get it. The Jap/chink douchebag was a piece of shit, ornery and unresponsive when I reminded him of who I was and the promise he made to me and eventually broke. Well, I got my fuckin' pic with me... and erased it! Why? Because Makoto is an asswipe. I mean, I'm trying to have a friendly conversation with him and the faggot can't even look me in the eye or apologize for being a douche. I hope our troops during World War II killed some of his relatives!

In the end, it was fun. I saw my other buddy Ross from Allentown, PA and NYDM prospect, who I hadn't seen since the Testament show. And Glenette, who I had first seen at the Obituary show last year in December. Despite some shitty unknown/unnamed bands, Axl Rose-like cunty attitudes and egos, and three random spic who almost put me in traction, it was good times!