Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lamb of God, As I Lay Dying, Children of Bodom, God Forbid, Municipal Waste @ Roseland - 5/8/09

I've been to Roseland Ballroom three times in my life, the first being the September 20, 2008 show with Motorhead and the second was on October 15, 2008 with Danzig and Dimmu Borgir as part of the Blackest of Black tour, and while these two nights were filled with legends and rock gods who gave fine, top-form performances, they pale in comparison to the May 8 show filled with some of the best performances, and one of the best metal tour packages, that I've seen in a long time. If Roseland is the place where legends are born and eventually come to congregate and perform for the 3500 strong in attendance, then the bands involved will no doubt feel right at home in a few years.

There was laughter, there were tears, there were titties being shown, fights breaking out inside (and outside) the venue, weed being smoked, and some really good technical metal on display. From the retro-thrash/party animal vibe of Virginia natives Municipal Waste, to the gritty New Jersey groove metalcore of God Forbid, to the regrettably (thankfully!) shortened set of Finlanders Children of Bodom, to Californian stableboys As I Lay Dying, to the heir-apparent of the metal band throne Lamb of God, there was not one corner of the metal world not covered tonight, save for corpse-painted black metal. As the night progressed and angsty teenagers and 30-somethings thrashed and bashed their way to catch a souvenir, so did the intensity and all-out fun to be had at metal concert. And for this one night, at least during Lamb of God's set, I returned to what I had once been before I became a jerk-off, sell-out suit in a Ralph Lauren jacket.... I was a true MetalBro4Life again.

MUNICIPAL WASTE - Give it up to these guys for starting the show up in an unexpected way as performing a little comedy act involving frontman Tony Foresta and guitarist Ryan Waste as they elicited and incited much laughter from the attendees as they jabbed and made cracks about everyone from George W. Bush to Disturbed, and the usual pseudo-homoerotic jokes of signing butts and dicks, as well as tits. As they entered the stage with the entrance music to Yellow's "Oh, Yeah!" (you remember those old 80s commercials for Twix.... if you don't know it, look it up on YouTube!), they quickly leveled the place with tracks from their latest release, 2007's The Art of Partying, before switching off into their comedy schtick. It would be wise to leave them as the opening act, if just for their comedy routine alone, it would serve as a good start for whatever bumps lay ahead. And while they seemed more intent on being funny rather than be serious musicians and encouraging many to drink and smoke weeds - a good way to get on the crowd's good side and exploit their vices - they didn't disappoint in entertaining and brutally beating, though lightheartedly, everyone into a frenzy. Set Rating: A-

GOD FORBID - When I saw these guys play with Death Angel last year at BB King, I was pretty much convinced that these guys were the real deal. Fast forward to today and imagine my surprise when I am faced with a pretty lackluster set. Instead, we have Kris Norris, formerly of Darkest Hour, substituting guitar duties for Dallas Coyle and zero connection from frontman Byron Davis, who does his occasional chest-thumping to the masses. Playing some songs off their new album Earthsblood, which I have yet to listen to (should I even bother?), as well as past faves, and you're stuck with a crowd desperately in need of something more potent. And while I can appreciated their socio-political whining sometimes, I can always turn on the news at home and hear it far more clearly than have Davis and Co. shove down my throat with indecipherable growls and pretty/tricky riffs. But without young Dallas to support and pull back brother Doc's cocky noodling, there isn't much finesse or approach to give this band a second glance. Set Rating: B-

CHILDREN OF BODOM - So apparently, Alexi Laiho fell out of his bunk on the bus and injured his shoulder badly, which means he can't really sing or play well, and after playing only two songs, the band gave up and quit. I could feel sorry for the kid and accept that, but I find it difficult to accept that if he was in so much pain, why couldn't they get someone to fill in guitar duties for him. God Forbid was smart enough to find a replacement for Dallas Coyle, why couldn't the same be done for Laiho. (James Hetfield did it when he nearly burned himself to death back in '92 when Metallica recruited John Marshall of Metal Church.) I chalk it up to some kind of arrogance on the part of Bodom's frontman, who seems intent on playing every riff and note as only he can because that is the Bodom way.... to Alexi, he is Bodom! So I guess when the vicodin ran out, he just quit like a typical Eurotrash pussy. It got worse for me as I watched their 14-year-old muppet of a keyboardist stand away from the keyboards and watched as Laiho writhed in pain. The writing was on the wall, they were done for the evening and they weren't coming back out. Sure enough, after their second song - Hellhoundz of such-and-such from their latest effort Bloodrunk - Alexi and the band went backstage and didn't come back out. I can just imagine Alexi crying in the back, with mascara smear dripping down his cheek and taking a swig of some unpronouncable Finnish liquor beverage. I think it was lame and totally unbecoming of a band to get us all riled up and then bailing on us like that. Set Rating: B-

AS I LAY DYING - The momentum was quickly failing, and not even radio host Jose Mangin, who chimed in between each set, could lift the crowd's quickly-dampened spirits. On occasion, he would be guests including Richard Christy and Kevin Kraft from Howard Stern's show (big fucking deal!), fellow radio DJs Scotty "the Body" and Zeena (seriously, who fucking cares!), and, right before Lamb of God's set, the presidents of LoG's fan club (shoot me now already!!!!) before bringing on the next act. Up next was As I Lay Dying, a so-called Christian band (*groan*) from California. Was this night really going to suck until Lamb of God shows up? Surprisingly, NO! Despite being tagged "Christian" there was no preaching, or Bible-throwing, or any preconceived notion usually identified with Christianity. Instead, there were bodies being tossed and choral chants from the crowd who seemed genuinely thrilled by these kids. I don't know any of their songs - I haven't added them to my "download music for free" list yet - but they picked up the slack that was lost on God Forbid and Bodom. And while I could probably kicked the crap out of each member of AILD, they made me a believer that they belonged on this bill than on some gay-ass, faggoty tour like the Vans Warp Tour or Projekt Revolution show. Set Rating: B+

LAMB OF GOD - With all the unpleasantries now behind us, I was now up front watching the old mountain men of Virginia kick some ass. Playing the first four songs from their new release, Wrath, the boys of LoG unleashed a fury - or wrath, if you will - so brutal that for the next hour-and-a-half, bodies were flying everywhere and the mosh-pits kept getting bigger and worse with each new song. Throughout the set, I made eye contact with guitarist Willie Adler and bassist John Campbell, who occasionally pointed at me as I sang off the chorus parts to certain songs, like "Redneck" or "Now You've Got Something to Die For." I hadn't felt this alive and more in sync with the band and crowd since Metallica's show back in January at Nassau, or even when I was drunk and backstage with Anthrax, or perhaps getting onstage with Suicidal Tendencies last year. Lamb of God, who are one of a few who are poised to take over the metal throne (others include Machine Head, Mastodon, and Killswitch Engage), pulled no punches and exacted a fitful wrath upon the LoG fans, and even some of the Bodom fans who are not too keen on LoG's more brutal approach, that everyone left Roseland happy. After first seeing them at Ozzfest 2007 (the free one) sitting all the way in the back on the lawn, I was now up front and close enough to see exactly why these guys are a love-it-or-hate-it band. It's because they do it their way and to them, it's the only way and that is enough. Set Rating: A

AFTER THE SHOW - Sadly, I did not catch any souvenirs or trinkets, but came away with some cool pictures of myself with the band. But let me just say that it wasn't easy and trying to take a picture with certain Lamb of God members is like pulling teeth!

When I asked Willie Adler to take picture, he gave me a bit of an attitude because I wanted him facing toward the light so there would be better lighting, and he says to me: "What are you a fucking photographer?" So, in my own unique way for pay back, I lay it on to him to be more appreciative of fans, especially those who shell out nearly $50 so that he can feed his family. And with that, he tells me that he wants to talk with his wife on the phone, and I tell him that his wife doesn't have to pay to see him because she gets him for free and that we are just as important as she is (based on the logic that because we pay to see their shows, he gets to feed his family). Needless to say, this rubs him the wrong way and he tells me, rather strangely: "You just fucked up, man!" For a moment, I thought he was actually going to fight me. But he ended spending almost an hour having a conversation with his wife. In either case, he's a prick! FUCK HIM! But.....

Frontman Randy Blythe was a bit weird. Smoking a cigarette and wearing these old-man glasses while his gangly, scrawnly ass was skulking outside the bus like some deranged hunchback. Sensing his wanting to be alone, even after getting my picture, I felt the need to get under his skin, and I told him that I download LoG's music for free and I asked his opinion on it. In so many words, he was not unhappy, claiming that he isn't "a rich man" and that I was "stealing my work." His work? What about the fucking band, you piece of shit! My prediction is that within five years, this band will implode and it will all be Randy's fault because it's obviously he thinks the world of Lamb of God revolves around him. What a douche!

Drummer Chris Adler, after waiting close to an hour for him to stop entertaining Paul Booth on the bus, was far more gracious about it and said that as long as people came to the show he was fine with it. I told him that he seemed to be the more intelligent one in the band, to which he admitted that he handles the financial and more important areas and decisions within the band. I even ribbed him a little by saying that if he cut the beard, which he said he has grown since '93 (though in a Revolver Magazine interview he said that around '96 he started growing it out), he would look much younger. His reply: only mild laughter.

John Campbell, much like Chris, was friendly and corgial despite wanting to talk to his wife, too. I asked him how within a two-year time span since Sacrament and Wrath, and the fact that he's in his late 30s, he has gotten so gray and old.... seriously, the dude looks like he's in his 60s! His response: "Up yours!" To which I said back: "Same to you." But that was in fun, as John told me he had seen me in the audience and liked the way I had mocked Alexi's shoulder condition after Randy had asked the crowd earlier to cheer him for playing in such pain. I earned John's respect because I "acted like a smart-ass," he said with laughter.

And Mark Morton... sheesh! If you thought Willie and Randy were douchebags, Mark might be the biggest one! I jokingly asked him who would win in a fight: Randy or a drunk chicken (their two of the same thing!) and he said, under muted laughter: "Randy," though I think the joke fell on him. And there was some drunk whore all over him and getting in between us. Mark seemed equally by her as he was with me. And like Willie before him, seemed to not appreciate fans for waiting to see his stupid ass. The dude, simply put, is a humorless prick. FUCK HIM!

I have a nice chat with Jose Mangin, who is apparently going to be the new host of Headbangers Ball, about the recent shalacking and hack-job done to the first ever Revolver Golden God Awards. As usual, Jose is pleasant to me, giving me a friendly bro-hug, and goes on to tell me that it was this person's fault or that person's fault for the way the awards show went and that he too was disappointed by its outcome until eventually Scotty (What body?) comes up, hammered and inebriated beyond belief, to pull Mangin away. Then Richard Christy and Kevin Kraft, both drunk and incoherent as I always see them, come around and hang outside the bus. Eventually I get to talking to Kraft about eating a cockroach for $7 on Howard's show and make amends to Christy, who was the cause of my getting kicked out of Duff's back in December last year. Kraft is getting fat and Christy is very fat and going deaf! I, meanwhile, greet Booth, who is polite and accepts my hand in friendly court and eventually, growing bored by the inane banter between John, Jose, Scotty, and other people, I bid farewell and exchange handshakes with everyone before leaving.

MOST POIGNANT MOMENT OF THE EVENING

I spy on Willie, standing with the bus door open, on the steps telling his wife on the phone that he loves her. But he says it quietly, so I have to read his lips. There is a look of sadness in that chubby, feline face of his. What gets me is that he repeats it again: "I love you" before he says good-bye. He gives me a look, as he sees that I have been watching him, and goes outside to meet with friends. And, of course, I take photos of this (two pictures are uploaded in the "Lamb of God and Friends @ Roseland" album).

SADDEST MOMENT OF THE EVENING

A muscular, drunk dude gets into a fight with one of the security guards and eventually two or three other guards attack the drunk dude. The punches sound sickening and I am reminded of an incident four years ago in Orlando, especially when the one guard stomps on the muscular drunk dude's face and spits on him! FUCKING SPITS ON THE DUDE THAT IS DOWN! Goddamn white-trash New York scumbag. I was in so much shock that I didn't know what was happening. Even As I Lay Dying's Nick Hipa, a sweet kid, by the way, also witnessed this and we were both in jaw-dropped awe at what was happening. I could help but feel bad for the drunk dude, even if he was causing the ruckus and threw the first punch. At one point, after getting up off the pavement sidewalk, he stood staring at everyone with a hunge bruise to the face and a cut lip, confused and disoriented..... I know that feeling! Wherever he is, I hope he is well.

THE "WHAT THE FUCK?" MOMENT OF THE EVENING

I see Randy on 50th St. at a bar. What's the big deal? He claims to be on the wagon and has said that after the troubles of making Sacrament and getting into that fight with Morton on Killadelphia, he hasn't touched a drink since. Well, not one to cast any stones, I call out to him and simply give the horns, to which he returns back to me. In hindsight, I should said something.... something to the effect of his sobriety in order to get something out of him. But I relented and went home.

CONCLUSION

Despite several missteps and accidents and a chance to hang out and schmooze with the great American metal band, in all honesty, it was rather disappointing to find that Lamb of God, at least a couple members, are douchebags and don't respect or appreciate their fans. But despite offstage issues, onstage - the show fuckin' rocked!

Show Rating: A-

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