I was one of the brave and chosen few to be invited and celebrate the 20th anniversary of Paul Booth's Last Rites tattoo and theater this past Saturday with many other tattoo enthusiasts, metal fans, and friends and fans of Booth's work. Not one to pass up an opportunity to see this dude's place, which I had heard so much about, I arrived at Last Rites by around 11pm, even though the party began at 8pm, and the place was packed with people still dressed in their Halloween costumes even though it was November 1st. I came sans costume, but still with the ol' metal spirits and mingled with some familiar faces and some new ones.
As I entered the smoke-filled hallway, there stood a "skeleton Christ" figure hanging from the wall looking at me. This skeletal figure hanging before me was the inspiration behind Kerry King coming up with the song "Skeleton Christ" on Slayer's last album, Christ Illusion. To the side is a cabinet full of souvenirs and trinkets, such as the Last Rites skull medallions worth $10 and baphomet necklaces worth $20, which are hella hot!
I had already missed the ZILF (Zombie I'd Like to Fuck) contest, but was able to make it to the Kool-Aid toast for Booth which came at Midnight. When I got there, Sirius Hard Attack host Jose "Manginator" Mangin, who was doing his usual rap onstage, was the first to greet me in front of the crowd of onlookers, which actually touched me. While he could have easily ignored me, he was good enough to point me out and give me a proper shout-out. As I made my way to the art gallery, Exodus singer Rob Dukes and his hot piece-of-ass wife were there in line waiting for to get drinks or take a piss. He was the first to spot me, and any one who knows our strange history, it was somewhat awkward. As I sipped my Kool-Aid shot, I could hear him say to his wife that I was the guy who "talked shit about him" and when I looked up at him, we gave each other a fake toasting gesture and nod as though everything was cool between us. But I still think he's a douchebag and a lousy singer for Exodus.
I made my way back to the stage where Jose was auctioning off some really lame swag. I even joked to him later in the evening that he was saddling me with this stuff because no one else wanted them. I managed to get myself Danzig's The Lost Tracks of Danzig for answering a question correctly (Question: Who is currently on tour with Danzig. Answer: Dimmu Borgir.)
SWAG
Later on in the evening, Jose gave me some nice gifts to take home, all of which I managed to pack into my camouflage pants and leather jacket.
- Rest Inside the Flames by 36 Crazyfists (didn't care for that).
- War Party by GWAR and their Blood, Bath & Beyond DVD.
- T-shirt.
- Sounds of the Underground DVD from 2006 (I found a second copy on the floor).
By Midnight, Paul Booth came out to do the toast and say a few words about friends and the people who he loved and blah blah blah.... something about some dude named Larry. When he finished, I made my way to greet him and get a quick photograph with him. While I managed to get the picture and a handshake, the photo came out dark and so I erased it. I would have much preferred him without his costume anyway. (He, along with his bodyguards/hanger-onners, were dressed in hoods and had face-makeup.) Meanwhile, Juliya C. (*cough* "Cunt" *cough*) started showing everyone her "Paul Booth tattoo" on her fat ass, which I couldn't see from where I stood, and started inviting people onstage to show their tats by Booth. Sadly, not many people came onstage. At one point, I went up to tell her how great the party was, but the dumb cunt, in all her vapidness, just smiled and mouthed a "thank-you" rather than engage in conversation with me. When I asked her why FUSE cancelled her show "Uranium" she told me that they were trying to be like MTV, but the real truth was because she was a dullard and a humongous bore to watch.
The "Best Costume" contest took place, but I missed it because I had to take a huge piss. The winner actually received a free tattoo worth $1,000 (yes, Booth's tattoo's actually go for that much, and people will still go for it) that was personally drawn by Booth himself. She, or they, decided to put a pretty wicked-looking demon in such a dumb area - her fucking kneecap!!!!!! They actaully had video cameras on her to capture the pain, torture, misery and agony of this dumb cunt getting her free tattoo! I'll admit, it was painful to watch but thoroughly engrossing.
While at the Gallery, some ugly Asian chick (there's an oxymoron) was laid across on a table with fake blood dripping all over her, surrounded by hooded people and pig heads stuffed on spikes. The finger cookies and biscuit weeners (Weenie-Tots, as Al Bundy would've call them) were okay, but the chocolate cake was excellent, which I had about 3-4 slices. Later on we were treated to Nichollette (or however the fuck she spells it) the acrobat swinging about on a huge bird swing and did some Olympic-style tricks that were quite impressive. I looked at Booth's photoalbum as a child, which he had laid out on a table for all to see. Imagine that a blond, goofy-looking kid would grow up to become a prolific, yet very obese tattoo artist that is respected by many in the metal community! He actually looked like a very happy child, but now spends his time locked away in some dungeon, guarded by a real sentry, still a hanger-on, and mingles with the so-called "VIPs" and friends.
The last act of the evening was pretty entertaining. A midget posing as Marilyn Manson, but calling himself "Mini Manson," actually performed, or rather lip-synched, three of "Big" Marilyn Manson's songs like "The Beautiful People," even going so far as getting one of the ugly Goth dancers to rip the Bible the way "Big" Manson used to do in years past. Imagine taking Marilyn Manson's big, normal-sized head and placing it on a midget's tiny body and that's what this cat looked like. And while the set was short, it was definitely the most memorable. And as the night wore down, I decided to chill in Booth's theater with some other people and watched some flick of some old cougar getting raped by a dude, but apparently it was some fantasy or horrible flashback. It looked more like something from the Lifetime or WE channel for women rather than from some sick pervert's porno collection. '
By 3am, when I decided to pack it, the girl was still getting her demon tattoo done on her kneecap and they were still filming it! Before I left, I managed to take a few photos on my cellphone of some of Booth's artwork, which was actually quite stunning, and I even painted some warped drawing on a canvas that was open to the public to participate in that would be auctioned off for $250 (starting price) to charity, which sadly nobody made a bid for.
CONCLUSION - Even though I arrived three hours late, I still came away with some swag, met up with old friends, got seen and noticed, and got to meet Paul Booth, though that was no big deal. I can't wait for the next bash.... I just hope it doesn't take another 20 years to get there.
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