Thursday, May 21, 2009

Carcass w/ Suffocation, Necrophagist, 1349, Aborted, Rotten Sound @ Nokia Theatre - 9/6/08

Could Mother Nature pick a worst time and day to take a big, weeping shit on New York City than on yesterday's show at Nokia. What was supposed to be an exciting evening for me and my fellow metalheads at the reunion of Carcass members Bill Steer, Jeff Walker, Michael Amott, and non-original member Daniel Erlandsson, became a cold, rainy nightmare for everyone who came without an umbrella. Hell, those who did come with an umbrella, like myself, were still victim to the cold rain and eventual wet feet. At one point, I had to wring out my socks because they were soaked, which eventually led to my being grilled by security thinking I had slipped a knife in my shoes. The rain outside set the tone for the rest of the evening. Though most of the bands played adequately well, I couldn't fully emerse myself and give my full attention due to my already swollen, pruned feet. As the night wore on, I started getting flu-like symptoms, but managed to soldier on.

ROTTEN SOUND - The first band up should have been put to sleep. Their name is Rotten Sound, and it couldn't be more fitting a name for them. Typical grind that was obviously influenced by Carcass with none of the originality. There isn't much else to say here except they're from Finland and they have a new album coming out called "Cycles." One highlight, though, is that one crowd-surfer got his ass dropped.

ABORTED - This is the second time I've seen this band play, the first being at Summer Slaughter at the Fillmore, and there hasn't been any progress on their part or much else to go on that would hint that these foreigners will make an impact in metal anytime soon. I will say though that they were a step above Rotten Sound and the crowd seemed to like them, by a slight margin.

1349 - Wow! My first black metal band playing live... and hopefully my last one! Could this night get any worse? Now I have to suffer though fake Satanists in shitty-looking corpse paint singing in some stupid, indecipherable language? Talk about not belonging on a tour bill. I'd like to know whose bright idea it was to invite a couple Gorgoroth-wannabees on this tour? Their performance totally throws off the crusty vibe of grindcore with unnecessary black metal. Where are all the sheep heads? And the blood and fire? These guys are about as scary as a playground full of six-year-olds. One funny moment was when portly fill-in drummer Tony Laureano dropped his drumstick and seemed to get all pissy when nobody ran in to help him, leaving him to play one-handed for a good 20 seconds. His pissy sour-puss face was totally amateurish and made him look like a douchebag, even if that was a funny highlight of 1349's dull set.

NECROPHAGIST - For a bunch of Kraut musicians, these guys were able to steer the boat back in place and play a decent set. I had heard they were the tech-wizards in their field of metal, and for the crowd they didn't seem to disappoint. I wasn't blown away by them, but they didn't totally suck.

SUFFOCATION - This is also the second time I've seen these guys play, the first being at BB King, and much like that other crowd, everyone came away satisfied with frontman Frank Mullen's schpiel about "getting a shotgun from Wal-Mart and blowing your girlfriend's head off" or "loving the ladies but they're a pain-in-the-ass" or shaking his hand in the air like a hatchet, tongue hanging out, as though he's having a seizure. The band played well, but it was pretty similar to their show at BB King, as though they have a certain way of playing each night. Bassist Derek Boyer, again, looks like he's taking a crap while strumming on his instrument and black dudes Terrance Hobbs and Mike Smith have their tentacle-like hair flying all over the place. And guitarist Guy Marchais is alone on the other side of the stage looking like the only person from the band NOT out of place.

CARCASS - Now it was the main event. The reason I spent $35 to see these damn show. The reunion of Carcass! Well, I'd like to say that I was blown away, but I can't.... because I wasn't. But they were by far the best band of the evening. Jeff Walker, in his silly little English accent, make some morbid jokes and played in his familiar shriek of some of the best known Carcass tunes. Michael Amott, looking ever so pale and Albino-like, played well and reminded me of Dave Mustaine when doing his guitar solos, especially when closing in his skinny legs in order to clutch the guitar. Bill Steer, way on the other side of the stage, kept up well but didn't properly stand out in any way other than playing his instrument. Daniel, not Adrian, Erlandsson was the most technically-intriguing one in the group, as most drummers usually are. Not as polished as most, but still did an admirable job in keeping the Carcass machine going. I felt that the set was a little too long and could have been shortened. As much as I respect their music, Carcass spent way too much time onstage and the night seemed to drag on, especially since my feet were soaked from the rain and my legs were seriously cramped by then.

BEST MOMENT OF THE EVENING - Despite all that, however, it was worth it see the moment when former Carcass drummer Ken Owen, stricken by a brain hemorrhage in 1999, played a short drum solo and was greeted with much applause from myself and the crowd. I actually got tearry-eyed for a moment as Owen slowly made his way to the mic to thank us for our support of him, the band, and the music. Truly a golden moment I won't soon forget.

AFTERSHOW - So when the show finally concluded, I made my way outside to meet with the members of the evening. Pretty much nobody was worth speaking to. I didn't care to meet Rotten Sound or Aborted, 1349 disappeared but I didn't care, Necrophagist weren't on my radar, and Suffocation I already met and had nothing more to say. I did see Tony Laureano, who I had heard was one of the best up-and-coming drummers today. He did take a pic with me, but seemed uninterested in answering my questions for heavymetalnation.com. This fat spic even promised me to answer my questions after loading the equipment but seemed more content to talk on his cellphone and smoke his lungs out. Tony Laureano is a douchebag and fat, ugly mess.

But he was hardly my target of the evening. That honor belonged to Carcass. I was able to nab three of the four members, and also Ken Owen, with pics and was able to ask certain provocative questions for HMN.com. Daniel, who I kept calling Adrian, seemed visibly annoyed with me and even declared that "I didn't ask to be interviewed" like he's someone important or special. What a fucking loser! And I kept calling him Adrian just to piss him off. At one point, our exchange was like this:

MB4L: Hey Adrian!

DE: Adrian? I'm Daniel!

MB4L: Oh, well, who's Adrian?

DE: He's my brother.

MB4L: Who are you?

DE: Daniel!

MB4L: I guess Adrian is more popular.

Yes, that was a shitty thing to do, but he was being a dick first. And I exposed that in front of everyone nearby. Daniel (Not Adrian) Erlandsson is a loser and takes himself way too seriously. Bill Steer and Jeff Walker were much more cooler and were good sports about it. Asked by me whether "it's right to abort retarded fetuses" or "who's the biggest asshole in metal", or whether "it's right for gays, blacks and women to be into metal", they were good enough to answer me and laugh at the absurdity of it all. Bill confessed that he doesn't even own a computer or a TV! The biggest diva bitch award belonged to Michael Amott, who refused to stop for anyone and sign autographs or take pics. The Albino, Ginger dude, who I had heard was actually a cool guy, pulled the cunty Angela Gossow schtick and got on the bus. FUCK MICHAEL AMOTT!

CONCLUSION - So the show had its golden moments, thanks to Ken Owen, and its dull spots, but overall I was pleased and the reunion show was a touching, and quite funny, experience.

6 out of 10

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