Thursday, April 29, 2010

Catching Andrew W.K. off-guard at Best Buy - 3/25/10

I got to meet up with Andrew W.K. at Best Buy a couple days ago. No amount of rudeness seems to faze him and he's a genuinely good kid who really LOVES to hug people!

John Joseph: The Lonely and the Creepy

Don't know whether to chock this up to being drunk, high, or just plain stupid, but here's a couple clips of CRO-MAGS/BLOODCLOT frontman, and all-around Mr. know-it-all/motormouth hypocrite John Joseph McGowan talking to his girlfriend.... or boyfriend..... on a webcam. Seriously, lonely old people can be so pathetic sometimes! ENJOY!











FOZZY: A Novelty Act Gone Horribly Wrong!

Admittedly, I am not a FOZZY fan, nor am I a Chris Jericho fan of wrestling. The loudmouth, conceited, bloated self-prclaimed "Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla" (does he still call himself that?) tries with all his might to be a decent frontman and instead comes off like a suitable clown in the same vain as his WWE character.

My expections of last night's show in BB King were not high to begin with, and true to form, FOZZY did not deliver. Instead, we're seeing Jericho (aka Chris Irvine) pretend to be a metal god and failing miserably. From his microphone coming apart to his opening his shirt and exposing a very noticable beer gut, it becomes painfully obvious that Jericho is trying to segue himself away from Vince McMahon's school of torture in pursuit of childhood fantasies. He should stick to his former vocation and leave the music to the pros who know how it's done.

Somehow Jericho has developed some credibility with the metal community when Vinnie Paul, fat and bloated drummer of Hellyeah and formerly of Pantera and Damageplan, comes out onstage with a tray of cocktails for the band. He even delivers a brief speech saying that FOZZY are "alright," which isn't much of an endorsement coming from a crook like Vinnie Paul Abbott. Jericho hangs on to the likes of Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy, who performs drum duties, on their final number, as if to demonstrate more of FOZZY faux metal credibility.

Oh, did I mention he namedrops like crazy? He brings up Anthrax mastermind and local idiot Charlie Benante is in the house, as well as Anthrax flunky Frank Bello and former captain Joey Belladonna, who performed with a previous band earlier. Solidifying Jericho's attempt into metal history is the validation from the ubiquitous appearance of portly and the always-annoying radio host Eddie Trunk and pet stoolie Don Jamieson, minus Jim Florentine (the former Mr. Robin Quivers).

At one time, they even pay homage to the much-maligned NĂ¼ Metal genre by pogoing and pronouncing Korn-style vocals, courtesy of guitarist Rich Ward. All in all, FOZZY is not fun or funny. They have musical ability, with the exception of Jericho who tried in vain to channel his inner Rob Halford during the encore to Judas Priest's "Freewheel Burning". Needless to say, it was a lousy night indeed - overpriced and very overplayed - and should be forgotten quickly! FOZZY have no hope of ever being taken seriously and should just stop now. Your 15 minutes are up!


Set Grade: C





"Huh? Where am I?"




"I can sing better than you can!"

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Tim "Ripper" Owens: Never too old to rock!

Forget that shit movie with Marky Mark lip-synching to Dio-penned music wrapped around a goopy love story with Rachel from "Friends" as the love-interest, the real Tim "Ripper" Owens is humble man who takes pride in his work. He bleeds, he sweats, he screams metal and rock! He has had his ups and downs, playing to arenas with popular metal bands to fronting small club acoustic shows in his hometown, inviting his fans to chill and have a beer with him (on you, of course).

He's perhaps the busiest man in the game, too! There's his own solo band, and Beyond Fear, as well as the all-stars troupe Hail with many luminaries (too many to mention), and reknowned prick Yngwie Malsteen. Ripper, who is already in his 40s, plays with joviality and an intense electricity that is refreshing. Judas Priest be damned! When the 90s whupped their asses, Ripper was the only person to keep them afloat long enough to contact Rob Halford and eventually jettison Owens in favor of a reunion that eventually proved fruitful. In any case, rather than wallow in self-pity, Mr. Owens soldiered on and joined Iced Earth, gaining more momentum and maintaining his metal street cred within the circles as the new millennium was in full swing.

Tim "Ripper" Owens is proof that you can rise up, fall down, get back up, continue moving forward, and take charge again. Grab 'em by the balls and hold 'em until they pass out, I think he once said. (Or perhaps Rob Halford said it.) That's the one thing that shit movie didn't tell you, which completely minimizes the significance and courage that Owens instills in the common man. There aren't too many of those around anymore.



Blackgates is Dan Nelson's reclaim to fame! (Eat this, Anthrax!)

The first glimpses of Dan Nelson's new big-band project are started to take shape. Nelson, as we all know as the former frontman of that dreaded sinking-ship of a band called Anthrax from 2007-2009, has emerged with a new group of dudes with 'tudes! And he's brought some ample manpower to back him up. PAUL BOSTAPH!!!!! Yeah, that dude from a couple bands you may know as TESTAMENT, EXODUS.... oh yeah, and you may have heard of SLAYER, perhaps? Not too sure of the other two guys flanking Nelson and Bostaph, but they look pretty sick (and I mean that in a good way).

My first impression, based on this photo of the band, was of a Seattle grunge-style Black Sabbath, or Alice in Chains from back in the day. (It might just be the color tone of the pic, though.) I wish I could say that I've heard some tracks, but Nelson assures me that everything is coming along nicely and "to expect something very unexpected"! No doubt we'll probably get to see and hear Blackgates before those dinosaur douchers in 'Thrax can release "Worship Music" (GOD, I HATE THAT TITLE!!!!) in time.

At this point, my money's on Blackgates! Hang 'em high! \m/


Dem's Be Fightin' Words: Raymond Herrera speaks about his verbal smackdown on Dino Cazares!

A couple weeks ago, I posted a brief spat between Divine Heresy/Fear Factory guitarist Dino Cazares and Arkaea drummer Raymond Herrera from Facebook that sounded quite childish and gay, but quite entertaining. Since then, I tried to make contact with both men to see where the animosity laid and why all the mudslinging, why couldn't these two spics just let bygones be bygones. Of the two, only Herrera responded to my query and here's what he said:





"you call it mudslinging, i call it being honest, the day it was official that i was not going to be in the band anymore, it felt like i had a huge weight lifted off my back, i could care less what burton c dumbell or fat ass have to say, i would explain the entire situation, but i heard that decibel magazine did a proper write up on the whole thing. there is no animosity at all from me end, i just refuse to have built a brand for twenty years only to see burt keep changing his mind and continously bringing the brand down by doing so.

"maybe you just didn't see what was going on when this all went down around 2002..here is a quick recap. dino and burt could not and would not get a long, they couldn't even be in the same room, then burt quit. roadrunner wouldn't accept the breakup, so i had to get burt back on board, but he would not with dino in the band, so i made an executive decision and had to fire dino, because burt didnt have the balls to do it himself, the only difference is that i sat down with dino and told him to his face that he was fired and why and how we could come to an agreement on how things would go moving forward.

"Burt on the other hand, makes a bunch of silly decisions and just gets rid of me and christian without a call or email or nothing, i heard from gene hoglan that he got a call from burt...there my friend, lies the difference, i have the balls to tell people how i feel, burt is too much of a fuckin pussy. your words are easier said than done my friend."


This round, so far, belongs to Ray-Ray!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Remembering Peter Steele!

Let us remember Pete Steele for what he is best known for, the way he was, the way we all would like to remember him forever. Yes, a Playgirl model! To all you dudes to jerk off to and all you chicks to finger yourselves to.

My gift to you all. It's how he would have wanted it. Enjoy, fuckerz!

:-P

Peter Steele
R.I.P. 1962-2010






















Sunday, April 4, 2010

WANTED: Dave Brockie - Pedophile!

Beware! This man who calls himself Dave Brockie has been known to kidnap children and repeatedly sodomize them and steal their candy. This ugly, horrible-looking, vomit-inducing pervert is sick and is known to go by the name of "Oderus" with a bunch of space douchebags who call themselves GWAR and should be shot onsight!