Without a doubt a great contender for best concert of the year! While I had reservations of Nazis... uh, I mean thrashers... Kreator headlining an American tour over Bay Area Yanks Exodus, there was no question who the stars were. As a combined tour (pun intended) de force, the aforementioned duo and their three tag-alongs made every cent of the $28.50-$30.00 ticket price that the hungry horde of ugly sweathogs shelled out for completely worth it! My neck is still fucked up from all the bodies crashing down on top of yours truly from Warbringer's medium-hot set to Kreator slam-banging, hate-filled, torture spot (although there was a surprising lull during Belphagor's set!) that it hurts to just type this. Still, despite all of the grunting gorillas and foul-smelling ogres pawing and grabbing at my Ralph Lauren velor jacket and Peter Grimm fedora hat the whole night, this was a perfect night for any thrash lover, new or old, and if you missed it.... kill yourself NOW!
EPICUREAN - I know nothing of these guys except random mentions in various metal rags, which really doesn't matter much unless you have something big going on with your music. Cursed with being the first band up, of course they had to face the weary-eyed gawkers and apathetic (and some pathetic) nods of approval or just possible general disinterest with nothing else to do but sway their corpulent and rotund bodies to the "typical" thrash-and-grab music being played. For the random mentions in Terrorizer magazine, they just seemed to come off very green and exactly what you get from an opening band. No believable confidence in themselves, but a lot of theatrical rage. Kudos to their Robb Flynn-lookalike bassist for showing some energy and flair. Set Rating: B-
WARBRINGER - For the third time in what feels like a three-month cycle, I witnessed these kids from California perform. This time they've moved out of the small confines of BB King and into the bigger venue that is Nokia, but not because their profile has gotten any higher - though they did manage to get Exodus mastermind Gary Holt to produce their second work, which should have gone into making Exhibition B instead, but more on that later - they just happen to land themselves with the right bands and the right tours. Call them the luckiest brats in metal, but luck can only get you so far.... these guys do have talent (in being retro) and a strong fanbase that was genuinely pleased to see them onstage. The first ripple in the crowd - i.e. mosh pits and crowd surfers - belonged to Warbringer who kept a pretty consistent and fun set going for a much longer period than the two previous shows I last saw them in. Unfortunately, the majority of the set for me was watching newly-crippled Nic Ritter, who broke his arm while drunk, sitting by the drum kit and coaching Epicurean's drummer (let's call him "Dude" since I don't care to know his name), who had the Herculean task of learning Warbringer's music within two days, and was actually pretty damn good. John Kevill, their always ready-to-kill frontman, ditched the "Hail Satanas" garbage schpiel from other shows and really planted himself well as a serious individual rather than as a silly little moppet from shows past. Even the photographer dorks like Frank "Porky" White and Ken of Piercing Metal were more than willing to spend their film in their favor. The bitter trio of Andy Carroll, Ben Bennett, and John Laux (sorry, fellas!) did their usual thrashing and grousing, especially Bennett, who seemed to perform in a foggy daze and learn rather buffoonish. (He may have smoked a bit too much weed or drank too much Vitamin D milk!) Laux, still wearing his cum-streaked hair stripe, looking like Slash buttfucked Sweeney Todd, was virtuositic and confident, while Carroll, looking ever so femme was just brutal. Set Rating: B+
BELPHAGOR - Just when you thought it'd get more brutal..... it suddenly stopped! Austrian black-death metallers Belphagor, who I had come to assume were this evil and blasphemous group of killers, were merely old, white men with funny accents and just making the usual noise that pleases many, but ultimately fails to move the crowd in a frenzy. No, wait, it did get crazy.... towards the end! Too little too late. My interest had waned considerably and was waiting for them to bring out the cane and pull these guys off the stage. For a bunch of scary dudes who talk about the Marquis de Sade and masturbating with a cross on a nun, they were rather tame and disappointing. At least Helmuth, their frontman, was a decent fellow despite being a stinky smoker! Set Rating: C+
EXODUS - Why, why, why, WHY..... are these guys second on the bill? I mean, this is America not Deutschland! We came for Exodus, right? To be honest, and this is according to my conversation with Gary Holt after the show, they were asked to come along and they agreed in favor of spreading their unholy gospel after releasing their unnecessary Let There Be Blood album last year and figured that after their jaunt in Europe that it would be a good idea to tour North America again. Good thing, too, since the hubbub over 2007's The Atrocity Exhibition: Exhibit A has since died down and we'll have to wait until 2010 for Exhibit B, and they may be at risk of losing momentum AGAIN! Anyone remember 1992's Force of Habit? No? I didn't think so! But fans will have nothing to fear, as Exodus are still that angry, muscular beast that it was born to be, aided by a tireless crew 40-year-olds who remain loyal and faithful to thrash music and its fans. No complaints here. Gary Holt solos and everyone gets a hard-on. He trades riffs with fellow guitarist Lee Altus and everyone cheers. Tom Hunting rocks Nokia and bodies start falling on top of me. You have to admire and love this intense passion, even if it means putting your neck and back in traction for a few weeks, and be thankful that these guys had the gumption and balls to get themselves clean from drugs and alcohol and go out one more time in a blaze of glory, almost paralleling fellow Bay Area thrashers Testament. Rob Dukes grunts, growls and groans like the rabid Mad Dog that he is and fans who didn't warm up to his inclusion in the band seem to be content with his presence, even if they prefer Steven Souza or the late Paul Baloff's corpse as a suitable frontman. They bring out the big guns here, lots of treats from their pinnacle album Bonded by Blood, such as the title song (of course!), "A Lesson in Violence" and "Piranha", before moving on to Exhibit A tunes like "Riot Act" and "Children of a Worthless God" and ending it with "Toxic Waltz" from 1989's Fabulous Disaster. It was Exodus of 1985 kicking ass in 2009 and we couldn't have been more satisfied. Set Rating: A
KREATOR - And while I may have bitched and moaned over whoever decided to put the Krauts ahead of the Yanks, I have to be the first to say that Kreator were brutal! And just like I predicted a couple days ago, Kreator was far more talented and superior to their fellow Krauts in Destruction. Where as Destruction merely - and just bared - moved the crowd, Kreator nearly started a fucking riot! Pound after pound of fat, smelly, sweaty human flesh were going over the barricades! Mosh pits were in full swing! And yet, despite all this carnage going around, frontman Mille Petrozza, who stands about 4'6 in height, seemed to tower over this horde of chaos like a gleeful tyrantical king. And in fact, he started it all off with his titular song from Hordes of Chaos, released earlier this year, and the frenzy ensued. For 120 minutes, it didn't stop! While I tried in vain to protect my velor jacket and fedora hat and watch the band at the same time, I was busy fighting off Spics who were trying to muscle their way up to the barricade with me and security guards who were blocking my view. But I saw enough to know that I was watching something quite magical. There is a reason why Kreator have lasted as long as they have since 1985, or rather 1982 if you count their time as "Tormentor," and have such a strong support from fans - because they fail to disappoint them. If you want blood, you'll fucking get it at a Kreator show. Think of it as a walking torture rack.... at least, that's how Mille portrayed it as he constantly referred to it as "the Kreator." The setlist didn't disappoint either, especially when you consider that they had songs like "Riot of Violence," "Pleasure to Kill," "Phobia," "Extreme Aggression," "Coma of Souls," "People of the Lie," and "Violent Revolution" before ending it with a "Flag of Hate"/"Tormentor" combo. T'was a very sore but awesome set that rivaled Exodus in so many ways. Set Rating: A
AFTER THE SHOW - As the sweathogs and gorillas filed out of Nokia, I made my out and saw the embittered dynamic duo of Warbringer's Bennett and Carroll sulking in their van crying about New York parking! Bennett gulping Vitamin D milk in the driver's seat while Carroll mumbles something bitterly while taking a drag on his cigarette, something about not graduating high school, I think. After some playful banter and my increasing boredom of their lack of anything intelligent to talk about, I return and run into the rest of the Warbringer band, who seem to be in brighter spirits, though even they grouse about New York parking. Seriously, Kevill and Laux go off on tangents about the sucking parking laws like I have something to do with it. And, as always, it's great to hear feedback on my Rate the Bands blog, which they're not too shy in expressing. I found Ritter to be the most pleasant one of them all... truly a cool cat despite having a crippled arm.
Slowly but surely, members of the upper echelon billing come out. I get to spend several minutes chatting with Gary, Lee, and Tom of Exodus who have no problems hearing my criticism over their move to push Exhibit B back to October, which is when they'll start recording, to my confession of downloading their music for free. Holt and I, however, have a big dispute over downloading as opposed to buying hard copies, which affect the way bands tour. I merely pointed out that if a band is any good, then most definitely I would buy a hard copy of their album. I told him that I have no problems buying anything from Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Anthrax, Pantera, Exodus and Testament.... simply because I find them to be that damn good and deserving of my $18.99. I also brought up the point that most fans can't even find certain bands because they're too brutal or too dark for mainstream stores - case in point, Lee Altus's former band Heathen, which you won't ever find at a Best Buy, Virgin, Circuit City, FYE, Sam Goody's, or Barnes & Noble, and that the 'Net is the only place that helps fans get exposed to that music. In the end, I told him that I make look and dress like a poser in my Ralph Lauren jacket, but in heart and spirit, I am a die-hard metal fan than any jackass neanderthal wearing stupid patches on his blue denim jacket. Being the upstanding guy that he is, he actually complimented my style and "likes the hat" after playfully tapping the top of it.
FUNNY - AND SHOCKING - MOMENT OF THE EVENING (OR: WHEN GARY HOLT SAYS THE DARNDEST THINGS!)
So-called vegetarian, or vegan, Gary Holt actually took a bite out of a chicken kebab from the street vendor! Shocking because if you know Gary, he is a strict vegetarian - which isn't very metal - and claims to never put any kind of meat in his mouth. Funny because right before he takes a chunk of chicken meat and puts it in his mouth, he says "I'm gonna hate myself for this!" but he can't even swallow it and the goddamn thing falls out of his mouth. Right after that he says "I need to get me a soy burger!" ????????? Gary Holt??????? A vegan wanting a soy fuckin' burger?????? When did our heroes suddenly become pussies? (Just kidding, Gary! ;)) Oh, and speaking of pussies, when I asked him what he thought of old bandmate Kirk Hammett being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, he calls him a pussy! Classic. Fucking. Moment! Of course, he says he was joking, but that was a pretty long pause.
THE "WHAT THE FUCK" MOMENT OF THE EVENING
I saw Lee Altus bringing Bulgarian douchebag and my former show buddy Stefan, with his stupid glasses and big bubble head, and another jerkoff friend getting on the Exodus bus! While Lee and I had a great time chatting, I can't believe he would allow a zero and square like those two on the bus. I really think Lee brought them on the bus just to give blowjobs to the band members. That's the only thing Stefan's mouth is good for. In all honesty, I could have asked and gotten on that bus, but it was late and had plans in the morning. And besides, I've been on a few buses, and with headliners at that, not second billers.
Another WTF moment, Rob Dukes pulls the disappearing act on me. I guess he's too chicken-shit to talk to me like a man and decided to run off with his family and friends. What's funny is, as big and scary as he looks, he acts like a chick... mumbling under his breath about me at Paul Booth's party and then gives me fake smiles. Then, at the show, he tosses me a pick like we're bros again and then skips out as if to avoid me. What a puss!
TRINKETS
I managed to catch me an Exodus guitar pick thrown by my old nemesis Rob Dukes, who gave me the finger during their set, which compelled me to return the favor by giving him TWO MIDDLE FINGERS! After which he points to Holt, busy doing yet another scorching solo, while still staring at me with those maniacal eyes of his, and a body falls on top of my head. I guess Dukes really does care after all.... if only he'd be a man and unblock me already!
CONCLUSION
A great show that made Destruction's set the night before look like a day at an old folks home. Where they were tepid and meek, the men of Kreator, Exodus, Belphagor, Warbringer, and even Epicurean stood tall and proud and we were all the more satisfied. Show Grade: A
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