Arch Enemy (w/ Exodus, Arsis & Mutiny Within) @ Nokia Theatre - 1/22/10

For those of you who don't know, I nearly got into a fight with that fugly, Ginger-looking freak Michael Amott of Arch Enemy. The guy acted like a fucking turd and was about to pull the diva routine again (the first time being at the Carcass reunion show back in 2008 at the same venue, no less) by refusing to sign autographs or take pics with fans until I stepped in and called him a "douchebag." Incensed by this, he drops his bags, turns around, and actually confronts me by putting his hands on me. Witnessed by dozens of fans from the show, I told Amott to get his filthy, Euro-trash hands off me before it would go down badly. My plan worked as Amott returned to his bus, dropped of his bags, and eventually came back out to meet the group of fans waiting outside. Looking back, I should have laid Amott out for putting his Albino fingers on me, but why ruin an almost great night dominated by the great Exodus, who absolutely destroyed Arch Enemy.

The night opened fairly well with Mutiny Within, who took their melodic death growls to familiar heights and seemed to go over well with the crowd. At times, the singer and bassist seemed to connect with two douchers in the front row who were headbanging in delight at the junior-leaguers' attempt at being heavy. But Mutiny Within remind me of why certain bands never reach that next plateau. They're not strong enough to go that extra mile.

Arsis, however, came out swinging. After frontman James Malone's troubles with bulimia and numerous cancellations which cost Arsis much exposure, the new team come out quite confident and assure in themselves that their music is the real deal. Malone's constantly eyes the front row to make sure that everyone is having a good time. It isn't until "We Are the Nightmare" that business really picks up.

But that business belongs to Exodus, the obvious stars of the night, though surprisingly not the headliners. For the second consecutive time, the Bay Area thrashers play second fiddle to a foreign headliner (the first being Kreator last year), yet manage to come out as the favorite band of the evening. With all the flying bodies and walls of death surrounding the venue, there was no question that Exodus were at the top of their game. The members of the band connected with the front row, and myself, and we all became one happy family as the band charged through open "Bonded by Blood," chanted through the chorus of "Children of a Worthless God" and closing out with "Toxic Waltz." Frontman Dukes and I even shared a moment at the end of the set, full of sweaty embraces and laughter.

The members of Arch Enemy take their positions to the soundtrack of some conqueror's theme, befitting of some past European war hundreds of years ago, but the presentation is not. Rather than some ravenous she-beast, frontwoman Angela Gossow comes off more like a mildly angry child throwing a tantrum while turning on all the closeted dykes in the crowd. Sure, her growls are fierce and she deserves some measure of respect, but her chest-thumping like a man (careful she doesn't pop an implant) and schmaltzy speeches to the crowd is laughable and awkward. Bands should just shit the fuck up and play, not give speeches.

MUTINY WITHIN - Junior leaguers who want to play with the big boys. With a name like that, you won't get far! Just ask Dirge Within. Set Grade: C+

ARSIS - Lots of tricky fretboarding and noodling heralds a welcome return to a pretty good band that came dangerously close to ending. Set Grade: B

EXODUS - What can be said? The old masters of metal, and frontman Rob Dukes, make an example clear: If it ain't broke, why fix it? Set Grade: B+

ARCH ENEMY - The so-called "Diva Satanica" and the Swedish meatballs who act as her backup band seem to have bitten off more then they can chew by having to follow the footsteps of Exodus. Set Grade: B

Michael Amott is a cunt and fucking loser, and I wish cancer on him! If you want to piss him off, call him a "douchebag" and prepare to throw down. Just sayin'.... And what the fuck is up with Rob Dukes skipping out like that while the other members of Exodus take the time to meet fans?

Show Grade: B




Me and Angela Gossow (Arch Enemy)





Me and Michael Amott (Arch Enemy)





Me and Chris Amott (Arch Enemy)





Me and Sharlee D'Angelo (Arch Enemy)





Me and Daniel Erlandsson (Arch Enemy)





Me and Gary Holt (Exodus)





Me and Lee Altus (Exodus)





Me and Jack Gibson (Exodus)





Me and Tom Hunting (Exodus)





Me and James Malone (Arsis)

D.R.I. (w/ Inhuman and Rumpelstiltskin Grinder) @ Gramercy Theater - 1/17/10

Question: Who in their right mind would come up with the idea to have a metal show at 10pm? Better question: Who would expect anyone to show up at a metal show at that hour? The brazen powers-that-be, that's who! If it's a metal show, they will come! The hordes of sweaty, smelly, greasy, horned-up freaks will come at all hours to see a legendary thrash/punk act bring the house down.

For D.R.I., who haven't released a single record in the last 15 years, the mission is rather simple. They blaze through nearly 20, maybe 30, songs with lightning-fast speed. The crowd throws empty or crushed beer cans at them onstage, and many deliriously-minded morons proceed to jump onto the stage and to stagedive back into the crowd. The night was full of that old-time punk/metal religion, a fight between two barrel-chested skinheads broke out early in their set, which is always fun to watch, and the air reeked of blood, sweat, and ham sandwiches. D.R.I. make jokes about the raucous crowd, though at one point frontman Kurt Brecht gets annoyed at one dude in the crowd who is continuously throwing cans at them and challenges him to come up onstage.

Despite the tension in the air, the band play on with familiar classics like opener "Who Am I" to closer "The Five Year Plan." All this in time for their reissue of 1987's Crossover, but what we really need is a new D.R.I. album! And while that may not happen any time soon, it was good to see these old men in their proper element and still whoopin' some ass.

RUMPELSTILTSKIN GRINDER - From the dive bars of Europa to the bigger dive bars of Gramercy, these kids are moving on up! Too bad their music hasn't changed. Set Grade: C+

INHUMAN - Hank Hell's other group away from the Kenny Hickey-fronted Seventh Void. Pretty chaotic and groovy stuff. Set Grade: B-

D.R.I. - The familiar Thrash-and-Grab outfit of the 80s haven't lost their touch despite 15 years of inactivity. Despite baggy eyes, gray hair, and changing times, the boys never miss a beat. And Spike Cassidy's guitar, bedecked with stickers and decals of pop culture and cartoons (Bart Simpson, Beavis), is still the coolest-looking axe I've seen! Set Grade: B+

Show Grade: B




Me and Kurt Brecht




Me and Spike Cassidy




Me and Harald O.




Me and Rob Rampy

My Chat with Corey Beaulieu (Trivium) and the firing of Travis Smith!

This is my chat with Corey Beaulieu of Trivium telling me exactly what the status is for drummer Travis Smith within the band. For fans of the band, prepare to be heartbroken. For detractors of the band, prepare to rejoice!

 
9:16pmKristoffer
Why so bored!? Don't you have a girlfriend to hang out with?

Or a boyfriend maybe?

9:18pmCorey

nope

or no one i care to hang out with haha

9:18pmKristoffer

Well, Hulk Hogan's o TNA wrestling right now

And Bret Hart returns to WWE Raw tonight as well

9:19pmCorey

haha nice

9:19pmKristoffer

I'm stuck in school now

9:19pmCorey

oh shit

9:20pmKristoffer

Doing online stuff, pretty boring as well

Hogan's on Spike and Hart's on USA channels, respectively

9:21pmKristoffer

Guess you don't need me anymore, huh? Hahaha!

9:26pmKristoffer

So what's all this about Travis quitting the band?

9:27pmCorey

we parted ways

9:28pmKristoffer

Any particular reason?

Lemme guess....

He couldn't handle life on the road?

Or too much temptation?

9:29pmCorey

it was alot of things.. biggest thing was his playing was getting bad

9:29pmKristoffer

Wow!

Honestly, I never noticed

;-)

9:29pmCorey

and add on other things it was best to replace it

9:30pmKristoffer

The only time I saw you guys with him was at Family Values in '07 in West Palm Beach

So who do you have now?

As a replacement, that is

9:31pmCorey

weve had a new guy for a couple months

9:31pmKristoffer

I must ask you....

when are you guys going to bust out of the whole Metallica/Machine Head junior-leaguers status?

9:33pmKristoffer

I see potential in you fellas, but it's tough to say that you guys will lead the torch when Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and Anthrax are put out to pasture

As of right now, the future belongs to Lamb of God, Machine Head, Mastodon, and Slipknot

9:36pmKristoffer

C'mon, bro, I ask because I care

9:36pmCorey

there wasnt a question in that

9:37pmKristoffer

even though I wasn't thrilled by how you acted at the Fillmore gig

Yes there was

I asked you when are you guys in Trivium going to break out and break away from being junior versions of Metallica and Machine Head

9:38pmCorey

next album

9:38pmKristoffer

You're sure?

Isn't that what you guys said about "Shogun"?

9:39pmKristoffer

Or was Roadrunner doing all the talking for you?

9:40pmCorey

hahano

9:40pmKristoffer

I'm friend, kid, and a potential fan

I just want to understand where your heads are at and where does Trivium fit in the evolution of heavy metal

9:43pmCorey

im jumping off here gotta run to the store! talk later

9:43pmKristoffer

okay, later, kid

 
9:54pmCorey is offline.

My Top 10 Best Concerts (and Honorable & Dishonorable Mentions) of 2009

Here are the gigs of 2009 that I had the pleasure, and displeasure, of attending - a total of 18 metal concerts this past year.


BEST CONCERTS OF 2009


1. Metallica (w/ Machine Head & The Sword) @ Nassau Coliseum - January 29, 2009


2. Lamb of God (w/ As I Lay Dying, Children of Bodom, God Forbid & Municipal Waste) @ Roseland Ballroom - May 5, 2009


3. Dethklok (w/ Mastodon, Converge & High on Fire) @ Hammerstein Ballroom - October 30, 2009


4. Hatebreed (w/ Cannibal Corpse, Unearth, Born of Osiris & Hate Eternal) @ Nokia Theatre - December 18, 2009


5. Metallica (w/ Lamb of God & Volbeat) @ Madison Square Garden - November 14, 2009


6. Down (w/ Melvins & Weedeater) @ Nokia Theatre - September 11, 2009


7. Type O Negative (w/ Seventh Void, Destrophy) @ Nokia Theatre - October 22, 2009


8. Motorhead (w/ Reverend Horton Heat & Nashville Pussy) @ Roseland Ballroom - September 9, 2009


9. Cro-Mags @ Santos Party House - December 29, 2009


10. Trivium (w/ Chimaira & Whitechapel) @ The Fillmore - November 5, 2009



TOP 5 HONORABLE MENTIONS


1. Kreator (w/ Exodus, Belphagor & Warbringer) @ Nokia Theatre - April 8, 2009


2. Soulfly (w/ Prong) @ Blender Theater - October 19, 2009


3. Napalm Death (w/ Kataklysm) @ Blender Theater - April 11, 2009


4. Deicide @ BB King - July 5, 2009


5. Mayhem @ The Fillmore - May 21, 2009


TOP 4 DISHONORABLE MENTIONS


1. Necrophagist (Summer Slaughter Tour) @ The Fillmore - July 19, 2009


2. Destruction (w/ Krisiun & Mantic Ritual) @ BB King - April 7, 2009


3. Cradle of Filth (w/ Satyricon) @ Nokia Theatre - February 27, 2009


4. 1349 (w/ Annunaki) @ BB King - March 2, 2009

Decimation of the Nation Tour w/ Hatebreed, Cannibal Corpse, Unearth, Born of Osiris, Hate Eternal @ Nokia Theatre - 12/18/09

The "Decimation of the Nation" tour winds down with only three dates left and for some, like myself, this is the last "big" show of the year, and what a way to end it! Despite the oncoming snowstorm, which eventually caused the cancellation of the last show in Philly, fans flocked to the Nokia Theater to see the odd pairing of metal/hardcore hybrids Hatebreed and Tampa death metal legends Cannibal Corpse, plus Metal Blade youngsters Unearth, Born of Osiris and Hate Eternal (which Corpse bassist Alex Webster had played on their latest album "Fury and Flames").

The night started very slowly from Hate Eternal, who perform like an awkward "power trio" since the departure of guitarist Shaune Kelley, who brought a combination of grit, brutal force and technique to the otherwise mind-numbing noise and incomprehensible lyrics coming from frontman and Ron Perlman-looking reject Erik Rutan, and Webster, who was replaced by someone who had absolutely no business being onstage. The crowd seemed content to stay put without going absolutely bonkers despite several attempts from Rutan to get the crowd to lose it. His "come-ons!" seemed to draw more heckles than actual movement. If heckling was a movement, then he got what he wanted. In the short time they spent onstage, only one boy had the balls to actually crowd-surf, and even he fell on his ass because nobody was interested enough in keeping him up.

Born of Osiris didn't fare much better. Their keyboardist kept preening around like a fag peacock with bright feathers while the other members just played without any real heart behind it. They were probably the most forgettable in the entire lineup.

Unearth, who I consider to be the junior league versions of the Big Four like Trivium, were better until their little douchebag of a guitar player Ken Susi had nothing better to do expect spit water in the air righ before each song! I can't tell you how put off and disgusted I was at this little no-talent turd with nothing special to offer the band or its fans except posturing and posing. Advice to Unearth - dump this losers fast! How about I come over and spit in his face? Then maybe I could have enjoyed myself more. Once all the junior leaguers left the stage, the real meat and potatoes metal too over! T

While Cannibal Corpse lives up to the hype, I can't help but feel slightly disappointed. Not necessarily in them or their playing, but the lack of pandemonium coming from the crowd behind me. I expect flying bodies and broken bones, but even the mighty Corpse didn't "kill" the crowd as expected. I did enjoy it when frontman George Fisher made a dedication speech "to all the horny bitches" in Nokia, causing many loud squeals from the females in attendance, right before going into "Fucked with a Knife". Fisher seems especially comfortable with demonstrating his masterbatory skills during "I Cum Blood" or putting the microphone between his giant thighs which might indicate the length of his cock, which from my vantage point looked rather small. The Corpse wrapped it up with the satisfyingly typical "Hammer Smashed Face" and soon left the stage. The gracious and always-friendly Alex Webster tossed bottles of water to the thirsty crowd, one of which I managed to catch.

Once Hatebreed took the stage, it was apparent that these guys were the one they wanted to catch. But I wasn't blown away by Hatebreed that much! I yawned, in fact, which caused guitarist Frank Novinec to yell "C'mon! Wake up!" at me. Sadly, it didn't work. But I did enjoy their familiar tunes such as "Defeatist", "I Will Be Heard", "This Is Now", "To the Threshold", "Destroy Everything", a cover of Slayer's "Ghosts of War", and "In Ashes They Shall Reap" from the new album. Still, I wasn't completely won over.

HATE ETERNAL - The loss of guitarist Shaune Kelley and minus Alex Webster on bass really saps the energy completely. Set Grade: C

BORN OF OSIRIS - A complete bore. The band that doesn't belong anywhere near or on this bill. Back to the garage with you all. Set Grade: C-

UNEARTH - Fire that Susi punk and maybe you'll get somewhere.... oh yeah, and write better songs. Set Grade: C+

CANNIBAL CORPSE - Should have headlined! Above average performances could have been better if the players moved around and had some fun with it. Still, they don't disappoint. Set Grade: B

HATEBREED - Solid, if somewhat one-note. The sugary-sweet, "I will persevere and survive" attitude should be left in a self-help book, not onstage. And Jasta, this isn't a karate class or a 80s dance club, knock it off with those lame jump kicks. Set Grade: B-



Show Grade: B-

Metallica w/ Lamb of God & Volbeat, Day 1 @ Madison Square Garden - 11/14/09

It was nearly ten months ago that I finally got to see my favorite metal band of all time, the one band that actually got me into the metal scene, performing live before yours truly. At Nassau Coliseum, Metallica played an amazing show filled with lasers, multi-colored flames, and of course, some killer 'Tallica classics and newer ones from their latest album. Here at MSG, it's pretty much the same thing here - the lasers, the flames, the killer tunes both old and new (some would say they played too many newer songs), the electricity in the air and anticipation from the sold-out crowd - but make no mistake, Metallica owned the Garden and proved that they are still the kings of metal and heavy (or hard) rock! My guess is that anyone who had a bad thing to say about Metallica before tonight were promptly silenced.

On this leg of the tour, Volbeat have replaced The Sword while Lamb of God have replaced Machine Head. As with the Nassau show back in January, the first two bands failed to really impress or excite me. Again, much like in the case of The Sword and Machine Head, the sheer size of the stage and the magnitude of the acoustics booming throughout arena, seemed to completely swallow up show-openers Volbeat and, surprisingly, second-tiers Lamb of God. It wasn't until the headliners Metallica took the stage and business began to pick up. Needless to say, Metallica delivered! Mosh pits took form almost immediately as the first riffs from "That Was Just Your Life" began to play throughout the Garden. What surprised me the most was that the pits kept moving even during a couple of the slower, less thrashy songs. Though, in all honesty, from my vantage point, the pits looked quite tame and pitiful by comparison to others I've seen. Either way, when they played "Sad But True", people were on their feet! When they played the familiar but still somewhat obscure, Diamond Head cover in "Helpless", they were on thir feet! Even during another cover, Bob Seger's "Turn the Page", people were on their feet AND singing along!

Of course, there were some rough parts. For example, frontman James Hetfield constantly rapping to the audience about being "part of the Metallica family" and "your love makes us feel really good" came off more like schmaltzy begging, like an employee pleading to his boss for a raise, rather than firm salutations and good wishes. Watching Lars Ulrich slinking and swaggering around the stage, teasing fans with cups of water and middle fingers really rubbed me the wrong way. I guess he's just keeping up the perceptions as how the media and former fans/haters view him as: a greedy, arrogant businessman pretending to be and posing as a drummer. And at times, the songs tend to drag along endlessly, as some newbie Metallica fans who aren't yet familiar with their music look quite bored and confused. In the end, when they drop their black Death Magnetic beach balls during "Seek & Destroy" again, both newbie and Metallica veterans are on their feet as the set ends after two hours of ear-splitting metal. Yes, the boys still got it!

VOLBEAT - Danish group playing (and sound like) Clutch-style rock. I wasn't impressed. These guys are mediocre at best and will remain as show-openers forever. Set Grade: C

LAMB OF GOD - Virginian thrashers who played all the right songs and made all the right moves, but an antipathic crowd of macho frat-boy, homophobic college jocks more interested in the heavy rock sounds of Godsmack or Disturbed, prove that LoG are not ready for the mainstream like Metallica, and may never will. Set Grade: B-

METALLICA - Another great show, but lacks the same dramatic and unexpected element that made the Nassau show so special. High energy performances from the band and an enthusiastic reaction from the sold-out crowd prove that Metallica are still masters of.... well, you know. Set Grade: B+


Overall Show Grade: B

Trivium w/ Chimaira, Whitechapel and Dirge Within @ The Fillmore - 11/5/09

Much like the last show I went to, this was the first time I saw at least three of the four bands performing live this evening - Dirge Within, Chimaira, and Metallica Lite.... I mean, Trivium - at the always packed and always body-odor-smelling venue, the Fillmore. Jammed in the front row by the usual hundreds-plus sweaty, smelly, ugly and uneducated losers that I spend a good four-five hours fending off flying bodies, there really wasn't much anticipation for me in the beginning. I mean, Dirge Within? Who? And Whitechapel? Another lame, ragtag group coming from this piece-of-shit genre "deathcore"? Who cares! The real reason the pimply-faced youths are here is to see Chimaira, who played a very lackluster set surprisingly, and headliners Metallica Jr. - I mean, Trivium - who play their best impression of 13-year-old kids playing their favorite Machine Head tunes with their own brand of Disney Pop Thrash. But for a junior-league night like tonight, it wasn't a complete waste of time. 

DIRGE WITHIN - Yet another band fronted by another Anselmo clone, though this night is populated by those, this Chicago group wasn't all that distasteful. They had enough groove-driven, thrashy riffs that would make the ghosts of Pantera proud. The frontman borrows much of the Anselmo confidence by placing a foot on the monitor and trying, in vain, to start early mosh pits. Still, the energy from the crowd seems rather positive and may prove to develop a following someday in the future. Set Grade: B-

WHITECHAPEL - This is the second time I had the misfortune of seeing these Metal Blade little leaguers, the first being at last year's "Summer Slaughter" borefest. This time around, nothing has changed except the continued growth of my disdain for "deathcore" and all these goddamn untalented kids who invest our small metal market with this shit! To paraphrase Marilyn Manson's "Great Big White World" in order to describe the two times I've seen Whitechapel, "nothing changes, nothing grows." I swear, I could take that first performance and compare it to tonight's show and it would be the same show. The same incoherent songs, the same clothes they wore, and the same faggoty bouncing that they do.... especially from their fat-ass bassist. Like Converge before, these assholes have no place on tonight's bill, or any bill for that matter. I think Slagel would be wise to drop these pricks so they can corrode another label who deserve it.... like Victory Records! Set Grade: C-

CHIMAIRA - So now we get to the big, bad, tough-guy six-man team from Ohio whose entire back catalogue is best suited for the brutal, uncivilized dwellings of MMA and UFC arenas. Playing off their new release "The Infection" which kicks off with "The Venom Inside", the band starts off with high energy, but gradually dissipates rather quickly. I really expected to have people landing on my head, dudes next to me punching me in the face, and just all-around insanity and mayhem. But of course, this is a Chimaira set, not Cannibal Corpse. Judging from bassist Jim LaMarca's constant "come on" and "wake up" from stage, I think other people in the crowd weren't very impressed, either. I realize that the band doesn't play to the audience but for themselves. Guitarists Rob Arnold and Matt DeVries play in their zone, their own headspace, rather than really play for those who come to see them. I think frontman Mark Hunter would be the first to admit that the band plays for themselves and fuck everyone else if they don't like it. And because of that, the crowd loses interest and gives a big fuck you right back at you, Mark. Set Grade: B

TRIVIUM - Personally, I can't understand how guys like "Baby Metallica" can earn the respect and eventual tour slots with the likes of Metallica, Megadeth (Gigantour), Slayer (Unholy Alliance), and Machine Head or develop an appeal from the metal masses. Sure, Matt Heafy is a nice kid and comes off like a capable frontman, especially when it comes to rapping with the crowd, a la Hetfield, but these guys barely muster anything truly their own except their own fanboy fantasies. Sure, the ugly pigs who come to their shows think they're cute and have to drag their pathetic boyfriends to come with them, and maybe there is some musical appeal there, but I can't get past the fact that they are "trying" to be like their heroes. The substitute for absent drummer Travis Smith seemed to be having a difficult time playing the drums and keeping the sweat out of his eyes, which was about the only thing remotely amusing. Set Grade: B-

AFTER THE SHOW - The fuckheads of Chimaira bailed out on meeting fans, much to their disappointment, but were rewarded with the members of Trivium instead, which isn't that great a trade-off really. Bassist Paolo Gregoletto confided in me that he was sick and needed to go to sleep, but was decent enough to take a pic with me, the only one to do so, and Matt Heafy, looking like ever so effeminate and delicate like a Japanese Geisha girl in his satin scarf and coat, braved the cold to take pics and sign autographs. But my biggest gripe and eventual target for my venom of the evening went to Corey "FatFuck" Beaulieu. The portly, absent-minded kid seemed more content to schmooze with Roadrunne Records bigwig assholes than chat with fans. Sure, he signed autographs and took pics, but when it came to gift-giving by yours truly, he simply took it and without so much as a "thank-you" (until i reminded him) went back in the bus and stayed for several minutes. When he came back out alone, I asked him for my gift back. Shocked and confused, he handed me back the gift and apologized. Still, not willing to let it go, I proceed to tell him to be more appreciative to fans and not to be an ignorant douchebag. Just then, his phone rings and HE TAKES THE FUCKING CALL!!!!!! In doing so, he reinforces exactly what I am yelling at him about. So I wish him luck on the next album and tell him to go fuck himself before departing. It felt good doing so!

Show Grade: B-